Would YOU drink The Bard’s Quest?

A little multiple choice for you. If offered The Bard’s Quest would you

(a) pop it into the DVD player to watch
(b) read it
(c) drink it

My local coffee shop, Cafe Cacao has lost the plot. I went in a couple of weeks ago to order my usual English Breakfast, only to be told that they didn’t serve English Breakfast any more. I could get tea with various flavourings like liquorice or pumpkin, but if I wanted English breakfast, well, I’d have to order The Bard’s Quest.

Note they didn’t just tell me this, they told it to me with great pride. They were actually proud to be selling neither English breakfast tea nor Earl Grey. I was gobsmacked. I felt like saying to them, ‘Well, that’s fine with me as long as you have stopped selling Cafe Latte and Long Black too.’

In fear and trepidation I did order The Bard’s Quest. Honestly, though, it isn’t something you should get in a coffee shop. It is a DVD, or volume 48 of some never ending fantasy series. Would, I wondered as I started to pour, a little Hobbit jump out of the spout? Bottom line, having tried it twice, is that the tea’s no good. Not if you want English Breakfast.

Order has been restored. The manager has brought back the very same English Breakfast leaf tea they used before specially for me…and for anybody else who can’t bear to order The Bard’s Quest.

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