Clarissa’s back!

‘Pink gin, if you have it’, Clarissa said as she headed for the garden. It’s her new thing.

All this time I’ve been thinking that Clarissa was irritated with me on account of how I didn’t want her to borrow my cashmere clapotis, when it turns out she’s had the most extraordinary adventure!

She was asked to go on a luxury private yacht cruise with – this is all very hush-hush, so I can’t name names, but suffice to say you’ve seen her movies. I’m going to call her NK. By the end of the election last year Clarissa was so emotionally exhausted by the whole thing this was just what she needed – a nice break.

Well, there they were, cruising the African coast, sipping pink gin and generally lording it about when Somalian pirates picked them up. They didn’t want NK. One movie star is much the same as another, after all. But they knew – one wonders how – that Clarissa is utterly indispensable to the NASA space program. She was held for ransom. NK was sent off with the message.

We all know that governments aren’t allowed to disclose how much they pay to release hostages, but let’s just say that if you go to the 2009 USA Government budget details for NASA – go here and click NASA in search and 2009 budget – you then get to observe that number 6 in the generated list is entitled Unanticipated Needs. Click on the link and on page one – here – this is what you will find:

UNANTICIPATED NEEDS
Federal Funds
UNANTICIPATED NEEDS
For expenses necessary to enable the President to meet unanticipated needs, in furtherance of the national interest, security, or defense which may arise at home or abroad during the current fiscal year, as authorized by 3 U.S.C. 108, $1,000,000.

I don’t know exactly how much of that was appropriated to pay for Clarissa’s release, but word is President Obama is hoping that there aren’t too many more unanticipated needs popping up this year.

All’s well that ends well, I suppose. But, of course, under the circumstances, I’ve had to GIVE her my HipKnits cashmere clapotis. Those Somalian pirates have a lot to answer for.

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